Rwanda

I feel like the history classes I had while growing up placed me at a disadvantage. In the US we mainly only learn about our own country’s history, wars we were involved in and hardships we have faced as a country. Which is perfectly fine and we should learn primarily about our own land. The disadvantage is that in school we were never taught about what was going on in the world around us. Or at least, I wasn’t. 

I have always vaguely known about the Rwana genocides that happened in the 1990’s, but never more than just catching a glimpse of the surface. Tanzania is home to the most refugees in Africa. In Arusha there is the tribunal center where the people who had a part in the Rwanda genocides are tried in front of a court. It is free to sit in on the trials as long as you bring your passport, or some form of ID. The only time they do not allow people into the court room is when they are questioning a person who played a key role in the genocides. This is a part of history and I cannot wait to be able to go and sit in on a trial. Before I went though I wanted to be more informed on the issue so I watched the movie Hotel Rwanda which I had never seen before. We actually have about 4 copies floating around the volunteer house.

If you have not watched this movie... I encourage you to go out and rent it right NOW. It is amazingly made and there is no way that you will leave from watching it without having your heart changed. I knew it was going to be sad and I knew it was going to be intense from what other people had said about it, but I did not think it would have the effect that it did on me.  

I watched it alone on my laptop with my headphones after everyone was asleep and I only cried a little throughout the movie. But, as soon as it was over and I shut my computer I was overcome by such a strong sense of grief. Over a million people died because of hate and most of them could have been saved, but no country would come to their aid. We all sat aside while Rwanda’s own people were slaughtering their neighbors by the masses. People always give the United States crap about crossing over borders, but isn’t it better to stand up for what is right and just than to turn your back to those being killed and just say, “It’s not our place”? I am not saying that we do not do a lot of things incorrectly and never step on other people’s toes, we do. But I would rather be a part of the change than the continuation of hate. A genocide can happen anywhere and to any nation. It is not only a thing of the past, but of the present. It happens still, it could someday even happen to us. And people need to be aware. 

I laid in my bed while everyone in my room was asleep and silently wept as my heart was breaking for those who had died. I finally got out of bed because I couldn’t stop crying. I grabbed my ipod and went outside. This was around 11:30 PM on Sunday night and most people were sleeping already for placement the next morning. No one was outside and I sat down on the ground in a secluded space and began listening to my favorite Christian song of all time, “Everything” by Lifehouse. By the third time it played on repeat my tears had finally slowed and I my mind and heart was ready to speak to God. When bad things happen, people blame God. Even though I didn’t want to... I had all this grief for these deceased and I was angry at God for allowing this magnitude of hate to still occur in this day and age. I was angry about all the children, parents, grandparents, and orphans who were killed just because of what tribe they had been born in to. It isn’t fair, and it will never be fair... but God isn’t to blame. And I know that. Next I listened to “The Wonderful Cross” by Chris Tomlin and as soon as the first line of the song was finished, the power cut out and I could see a million stars shining down on me. Living in southern Illinois in the middle of no where, I have seen some pretty amazing night skies. But this was beyond amazing. It was so incredibly bright outside from all of the stars and I took this as a word from God. 

With the power being out and being one of the only ones awake.. I went back inside to my bed because I was a little freaked out by the dark. When I got back to my bed, my friend Angie was awake in her bed journaling. Angie is the person in the house that I am closest to and we connected at once. We love having deep conversations and talking about faith together. I noticed she was crying so I asked her if she wanted to go outside with me. We just started sharing what was on our hearts and we ended up laying outside for over an hour crying together and looking up at the stars. It was a great time of fellowship and I needed her greatly. 

I hadn’t cried in the month I had been here and there had been much to cry about. Elisha possibly having AIDS and being sent away so we couldn’t help him, Yeyoni being locked in a hut all day and abused, all of my children who their parents have left them because of their disability, my children who get made fun of, taunted and beat on the way home from school, the inability to help change the lives of these children the way I would like to... It is heartbreaking and I hadn’t given myself an outlet to let it all out. I started crying for the injustice of the people of Rwanda and it let out everything else that I had been holding inside so I would look strong in front of my kids. 

If anything, watching the movie pays respect to those who lost their lives and it engraves their memory in the hearts of others. The Rwanda trials are closed until August but as soon as they open up I will be there to listen to their stories. I feel in my heart that I owe it to them, or to someone to go and to listen and to reflect on what happened and the tragedy of it all. They should be remembered by all, and it should always be in the foreground of every country’s thoughts. What happened to Rwanda was horrible, but it wasn’t the first time a genocide of that magnitude has occurred and it most likely will not be the last. Watch the movie. I promise you will not regret it.